


Use Your Imagination

by keenquing



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keenquing/pseuds/keenquing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 'Dead Man Walking', Tosh helps Owen remember that we feel with more than our bodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Use Your Imagination

“Jesus Christ, why couldn't Ianto muck out Janet's cell?”

Tosh leaned over to look past her monitor, smiling at Owen. His otherwise-white scrubs were covered in brown muck, as were his face and hair. He tried to wipe something off his cheek, but just ended up smearing it over the bridge of his nose. “Because if you do it, there's no need to sedate Janet or use the weevil spray. Besides, he had better things to do.”

Owen snorted. “Like Jack?”

Tosh chuckled, turning off her monitor. “Among other things, I'm sure.” She stood up, stretched her arms above her head as she walked down the steps to Owen.

“You finally leavin' then, Tosh?” he asked over his shoulder. Tosh tried not to look at the muscles in his arms as she took another step forward.

“No, actually I was...ah...I was thinking....”

Oh, hell. She had planned it all up until now. Getting everyone, including Ianto, out of the Hub while making sure Owen stayed late. But she hadn't thought about any of the rest of it. She was usually so good at planning out every little detail of a plan. Why hadn't she done it this time?

“About what?” Owen asked, leaning against a table. He didn't sound particularly interested in whatever she had to say. But then again, Tosh thought, he hadn't been particularly interested in much of anything lately. That was why she was doing this, to help him get back to himself. But she couldn't find the words. Just like she had never been able to find the words to tell him how she felt until it should have been too late. She had finally gotten them out, though, and it _hadn't_ been too late after all. Sure, Owen didn't believe she had really meant them, but at least he knew. And that had been so much bigger than what she had to say now.

Swallowing, Tosh took another step towards him. “I was wondering if...well, if you didn't mind that is....” her eyes fell. She couldn't look at him. If he said no and laughed, she could handle that. But if she saw whatever was in his eyes, she'd never be able to face him again.

Owen sighed. “Hurry up with it, will ya Tosh? I know I'm dead, but I still don't fancy spendin' my whole night here.”

Tosh chuckled softly. She really needed to record him like this, show him that he really hadn't changed all that much after all. She bit her lip, hard, and forced herself to look up. “I want to help you clean up.”

Owen's eyes widened. When they shrank, there was something different in them. Something between shock and amusement. “You what?”

Tosh swallowed and lifted her hand, making sure Owen saw it before she placed it on his cheek. She knew he couldn't feel it. He had gone to great pains to show her just how much he couldn't feel, she thought, wincing at the memory of him twisting his fingers back in his rage and hurt. But maybe if he could see someone touching him, that would be enough.

“I want to go to the showers with you and help wash you off.” she said, firmly, staring into his eyes more to give herself a focus than anything else.

Owen blinked, and Tosh felt his fingers fumbling for hers. His thumb bumped the side of her hand, his fingertips running the length of the back of her hand until he finally found the grooves between her fingers and laced his fingers in-between them. They were freezing cold, but Tosh found she didn't mind all that much. “Oh...well, thanks, Tosh—”

 _But no thanks_ Tosh thought, bitterly. She gently slid her fingers away from Owen's and started to turn until she felt his icy grip on her shoulder.

“Where're you going, Tosh? The showers are this way.”

Tosh turned around, staring at him in shock. He smirked, jerking his head to the side. Tosh licked her lips and looked down to find his out-stretched hand. She bit the tip of her tongue, then looked up at him and smiled, taking his hand.

“What the hell—they're all ope—”

“You'll see.” Tosh nearly sing-songed, dragging Owen past all of the shower stalls before coming to the one at the end. “All right, clothes off.”

“What?” Owen stepped back into the corner when Tosh let go of his hand. She laughed softly, surprised at how much it pleased her to see Owen off-center. She delicately sank her hand into his hair. She knew he couldn't feel it, but he knew it when she pulled his head back slightly. “Take off your clothes, get into the shower, and don't look away from the far wall until I tell you to. Got it?”

She let go of his hair, slowly trailing her hand along the side of his neck and across his collarbone. She saw him look down to watch her fingers and heard him swallow. “Got it.”

Tosh grinned, taking her hand away to pull the tie from her hair. “Good.” she said, quietly, as she shook out her ponytail. She thought she saw Owen tremble a bit, and then he was lifting his shirt over his head. Tosh turned her back to him, although it was one of the most difficult things she had ever done. She had decided far earlier how she was going to do it, and no matter how tempting it was to do otherwise, she was going to stick to the plan. After she heard the curtain slide open and then slide back into place, she quickly undressed. She then picked up both of their clothing and put it all into the corner. Taking a deep breath, she stood up and slipped quietly into the shower.

Tosh felt her heart quicken a bit when she turned back from shutting the curtain and saw Owen, standing with his arms behind his back and head tilted back against his shoulders. He kept his eyes closed as Tosh stepped around him to turn on the water, only opening them and lifting his head when Tosh squealed as the cold spray hit her skin, jumping back until it had warmed a bit.

“Well, I suppose I don't miss that part so much.” he said, with more than a hint of bitterness in his voice. Then he actually looked at her, and if he could have, Tosh was pretty sure his skin would have flushed. “Oh, Jesus.”

“What did you expect?” Tosh asked, stepping around to his side. He chuckled, shaking his head.

“You've got me there. I guess I just...I don't know. Jesus, Tosh.”

“Is that good?” she asked with a trembling smile.

“Oh yeah.” He turned to face her and reached out a hand as if to touch her. It stopped just inches from her cheek, though, and Tosh felt the crack that had formed in her heart when he first died open up just a little bit when his fingers shook and curled into his palm, away from her.

“I...Tosh, you know that I can't....”

Tosh stopped his words by putting a finger to his lips. “I know,” she whispered. “But I....” she ran her finger along his lips, then reluctantly pulled it away as she put her mouth to his ear. “Turn around.”

“What?”

“Just do as I say.” Tosh hissed, slipping the slightest chill into her voice. She felt Owen jump against her, but he didn't say another word. He just turned around, jaw dropping when his eyes found the full-length mirror leaning against the wall.

“What's that doing there?”

Tosh chuckled as she stepped back from him for a moment, cupping her palm against the dispenser on the wall to pump soap into her hand. “I had it put there.”

“Why?”

Tosh pressed herself against his back, perching her chin on his shoulder so he could see her. “I know you can't really _feel_ anything. But I know your mind felt something when you saw me. And I thought that if you could watch someone touching you, it might be—well, not enough, but it might help.”

“Oh.” Owen said, quietly, staring at her through the mirror.

“Oh? Is that all you're going to say?” Tosh asked, almost pouting. Owen chuckled nervously and reached a shaky hand back to touch her cheek.

“Well, it sounds crazy. But we see crazier all the time. It's worth a go, anyway. It can't hurt. And even if it does, I won't know.”

Tosh laughed nervously. “All right then.” she thought about kissing his cheek, but figured that any more show of emotion might be too much for either of them right now. Instead, she stepped around him and knelt at his feet. “Keep your eyes on the mirror.” she said, as she started scrubbing his feet.

“Don't think that'll be a problem, Tosh.”

She looked up to see him grinning and thought about slapping him, but that wasn't the kind of touch she wanted him to be imagining right now. Or was it? Well, if this worked, she'd have to see about other things as well.

Gently, Tosh worked the grit out from between Owen's toes and then delicately lifted his right foot to rinse off the bottom. She heard him make a noise and looked up.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

He blinked down at her, and shook his head. “Ah, no. I was just thinking that, ah, normally that would have tickled.”

Smirking, Tosh went back to work. She ran both palms up and down his right calf, surprised at how firm they were. Well, he might be a doctor, but he was also a member of Torchwood. It made sense for him to be fit. She had just never really thought of him like that before. She hadn't let herself, afraid she would lose it if she gave into the fantasies. And right now, as she leaned over to scrub his other calf and her breasts brushed against his leg, she thought she might lose it anyway. She came back to her senses when she heard Owen hiss. She didn't look at him this time, but smiled when she felt one of his hands in her hair.

When she got to the tops of his thighs and found herself right up next to his cock, Tosh felt her insides flip. She hadn't thought this through, either. Well, she had thought that if all went well she would jerk him off as much as she really could, but she hadn't thought about -when-. She heard Owen's heavy breathing and knew he must be thinking about it as well. She nibbled her lip for a second, then felt herself grin. Trying not to laugh, she slid her hands past his thighs to his stomach. Owen muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'tease' and Tosh almost snorted.

“Well, you told me you couldn't feel anything, so it shouldn't really matter, should it?” she said coyly. Owen grumbled unintelligibly and continued tangling his fingers in her hair as Tosh's hands slipped up and down, lathering his stomach and chest. As she stepped back so the water could rinse away the suds, Tosh experimentally took one of his nipples between her fingers and pinched it. When he gasped, Tosh smiled.

“Did you like that?” she whispered against his shoulder.  
“Yeah, though I really shouldn't have.” Owen gasped. “I mean...I can't. Logically, realistically, I can't. But...I mean, _seeing_ it, it just...”

“The mind's an amazing thing, isn't it?” she mumbled, sweeping her tongue across his collarbone as she reached over to pinch his other nipple. He just squeezed her shoulder.

“Owen?” she asked, finally.

“What?”

“I've got to get your back.”

“Hmm? Yeah, so?”

Tosh chuckled, kissing his neck. “My hair, Owen.”

She felt him shift and was pretty sure he was looking down at her. “Oh. Sorry about that, Tosh.” he said, and she felt him shaking himself free. She laughed, sliding her hand along his side.

“It's fine.” she said, as she stepped around him. She realized, as she moved, just how cold the water still was, since she hadn't bothered to adjust it that much. She knew it wouldn't bother Owen, and she was surprised that, after the initial shock, it hadn't really bothered her. For a minute she thought about how distracting Owen's body really must be, then she shook her head and started scrubbing the backs of his legs.

“How did you get this filthy, anyway?” she asked, simply because the silence was becoming so overbearing. “I can understand it getting on your hands and face, but how did it get all over your legs?”

“You have no idea how disgusting those cells are until you get in there. That, and Janet kept following me around, groveling or praying or whatever, and stirring things up.”

“Hmm.” Tosh wished she had something more to say, but she lost her words as she ran her hands along Owen's back. She felt him tense under her palms, then as she smoothed her hands back down, the muscles relaxed.

“Can you see what I'm doing?” Tosh whispered, leaning close to Owen's ear.

He shook his head. “No. Well...I can see your elbow, the way it's moving. I can figure out how your arms are moving and...oh God.” he tilted his head back a bit, shaking it from side to side for a second. “That should not feel so fan-fucking-tastic.”

Tosh smiled. “Had enough?”

“Wh—” he started, but the word stuck in his throat when she walked back around to face him. She splayed her hand on his chest, above his still heart, and looked into his eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” she whispered. “Do you want me to just rinse you off and walk out?”

“Oh, fuck no.” Owen muttered.

“Well, what do you want, then?” Tosh asked, half-teasing and half-ordering. Mostly because, if Owen asked for it, she hoped it wouldn't feel quite as strange.

She felt him take a deep, shuddery breath. Then he reached up, taking her hand. He lowered their fingers down, wrapping her tiny hand around his cock. “Could you—?”

Tosh gave him a just-as-shuddery smile. “Sure thing. Just tell me when to stop,” she said, kneeling down both to get a better angle and so Owen could get a better view.

“I'll never want you to stop.” he mumbled.

Tosh paused, looking up at him. “What was that?”

Owen blinked, then flashed her a nervous grin. “Oh, nothing Tosh. Just being an arsehole. Now come on, I'm sure you've got to get home.”

Tosh bit back a comment about how she had nothing to go home to besides more work, then delicately wrapped her fingers around Owen's cock.

It definitely felt different. The lack of blood meant it was limp and cold. But the warm water did make it feel a bit more—well, alive was the only word that came to mind—and it definitely made things more slippery, so it wasn't difficult to get a rhythm going. Tosh wasn't surprised by any of that. She was surprised, however, when she heard herself breathing heavily. It shouldn't have been so hot, watching her hand slide up and down a cock that would never get hard. Even if that cock did belong to someone she had been wanting for years.

“Tosh.”

Tosh looked up. “What? Is something wrong?”

Owen smirked at her. “Did anyone ever tell you that you look kind of cute when your hair's wet?”

Tosh felt herself blushing and looked down to watch her work again. “Well, no, actually, they hadn't.”

“Well, you do.”

“Thank you.” Tosh choked out, throat tightening as she felt a streak of heat cutting through the cold droplets streaming down her face. Then she felt Owen's fingers on her chin, lifting her face up.

“Now then, we can't have any of that,” he muttered. He leaned forward, pressing her lips to her face, following the teardrops' trail. “Only reason I want a naked woman crying is because I've made her cum so hard.”

Tosh felt a hiccuping chuckle fall from her lips. “You're terrible.”

“And what does that make the woman who dragged me into the shower and scrubbed me down, then?” he asked, moving his lips from her face to her neck.

Tosh gasped as he bit the side of her neck. “Absolutely rotten, I guess.”

She felt him shake his head. “I don't know how someone so brilliant could be so wrong. You're absolutely fantastic, Tosh. No one else would have thought to do this, much less actually -do- it.”

Tosh tried to shrug. “Just...thought it might lift your spirits, that's all.”

She felt Owen's smile against her skin. “It certainly did that, even if it didn't lift anything else.”

Tosh started to laugh, but it got stuck in her throat when Owen's tongue flicked against her nipple. Involuntarily, she released her grasp on his cock and grabbed his shoulder instead. “What the hell are you doing?” she gasped.

Owen looked up at her, eyes glinting mischievously. “Besides the obvious, you mean?” When Tosh didn't answer, he lightly bit her nipple until she moaned. “Well, it wouldn't be fair if this was all give and no take for you, Tosh. Even if I can't go through my entire repertoire anymore, I can still play a few tunes.”

“And you still play them remarkably well,” Tosh choked out. Then she realized that her hand was no longer on his cock and gasped. “Oh, Owen, I'm s—” but the word left her when she felt the tip of Owen's tongue against her clit. For a second, she was afraid her feet were going to lose purchase and she was going to crash onto the floor. Hoping to find some stability, she sank her fingers into his hair.

Owen looked up at her briefly, grinning. “Really, Tosh, I'm sure you're flexible but I doubt you're _that_ flexible.”

Tosh laughed, then forgot why she was laughing when Owen ran his tongue up and down the entire length of her. Suddenly, the water pounding against her back and breasts was very cold. But maybe that was because the moisture between her thighs was so very hot. The pounding in her pelvis grew heavier than that of the shower head, and suddenly the only things in the world were her and Owen's mouth....

The next thing she knew, Tosh was sitting with her back pressed against something cold. But it wasn't the shower stall. It wasn't tile behind her back. Blinking, she looked over her shoulder to find Owen behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and legs bracing hers.

“Wh—” she started, stopping when Owen kissed her. Despite the obvious chill and lack of saliva, it was quite nice. In fact, when he pulled back, Tosh almost brought him back for more.

“I was afraid you were going to crack your head on the wall or the mirror, so I pulled you down here before you came. Hope you don't mind.”

Tosh shook her head, blearily. “No. I...I didn't realize I had....”

“Oh, believe me, you did.” Owen grinned. “Glad I moved when I did, otherwise you might have broke my nose.”

Tosh felt herself blushing. “Oh. Well, I...I feel very....” she bit her lip, searching for the right word. Even though she didn't remember cumming, her body felt surprisingly warm and light, especially considering she was drenched in rapidly-cooling water. Then she smiled, turning to face him again. “I feel wonderful. Thank you.”

“I'm the one who should be thanking you. I know I didn't, but I _feel_ like I just got off.”

Tosh lowered her eyes. “But I didn't really do anything.”

“You did plenty, Tosh. You made me remember that it's not just about what I can feel with my skin or taste with my tongue.”

Tosh felt her eyebrow go up. “What else is it, then? I mean, I get the watching and imagining and all that, but....”

Owen shook his head. “It was watching you. The look on your face when you came. The way you played with me. The sound you made when I bit you, God I could get off on just that sound.”

Tosh blinked, hoping Owen hadn't seen her eyes filling. “Oh. Oh, well...I guess I should take that as a compliment, shouldn't I?”

“Damn straight, you should.” he kissed her cheek, then stood up. “Well, come on then. We'd better get dried off and home before Jack pops in, because he will and I don't want to think about what he'd do if he found us like this.”

Tosh smiled, taking his hands. “All right. Do I get to dry you off, too?”

Owen chuckled. “Of course.”

Tosh beamed, releasing his hands. She stepped out of the stall for a second, grabbing the towels she'd set off to the side. She handed one to Owen, involuntarily shivering when he stepped forward and started rubbing the cloth against her breasts.

“Say, Tosh?” he muttered as he walked around to her back.

“Hmm?”

“That mirror, it uh, it didn't fog up.”

Tosh smiled. “No, it didn't.”

“So were we breaking a rule just now?”

Tosh laughed, turning so she was standing in the circle of Owen's arms, and started patting his face with the towel. “We didn't take anything out of Torchwood, now did we?”

Owen raised an eyebrow. “You're absolutely terrible, you know that?”

“Mmm hmm. And I don't think you'd have it any other way.” she ruffled his hair, then stepped out to get her clothes. She heard Owen mutter 'fuck me, no,' and then the curtain slid open again.

“What's this?”

Ianto shrugged as he handed Jack his coffee. “Dunno, it was here when I got in.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, picking up the white card. He flipped it open as he took up the coffee cup in his other hand. On it, in small delicate writing, were two words.

 _Thank you._

Jack smirked, setting the card aside as he moved his chair so Ianto could get to work. He didn't understand why Tosh thought he needed thanks. Everyone in Torchwood knew that Owen needed _something_ to snap him out of that funk, and he hadn't been able to get Ianto to agree to _his_ ideas for the mirror's use.

Yet.


End file.
